Tan Hee Guan

G12 Conference Session 6: Spiritual Mothering, Ps Nina Khong
Reporter: Philip Loh

1 Scriptural Reference

Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

(Titus 2:3-5, NIV)

2 Introduction

The way a woman glorifies God in her life is when she practices all the traits listed above. To be able to do that, a woman – in this case a spiritual mother – must understand 3 principles: the principle of God’s Time, the principle of God’s Tool and the principle of God’s Task.

2.1 The Principle of God’s Time

In Ecclesiastes 3:1, it is written that “there is a time for everything”. God knows the perfect time for everything to happen. Not only does He know the perfect time for everything to happen, He wants us to know His perfect time for our growth too. God has planned for the G12 Vision to release the women into the ministry – and now is the perfect time for us women to take up the challenge and grow!

2.2 The Principle of God’s Tool
However, a question to ponder about is this: who are we? Yet the answer is found in Ephesians 2:10. We are “God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works” – and the good work we must do is to become a strong spiritual mother for her daughters. This is not belittling our calling to the nations as found in Jeremiah 1:5 where it is written that God has set us apart and appointed us to be prophets – in this case prophetesses to the nations. We are set apart for the nations, but our first step must be to become spiritual mothers. We are a new creation, a new person in Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17) and we can do it (Philippians 4:13)! However, at the end of the day it is still our choice whether or not we want to become a spiritual mother for God. We are urged to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2) – to truly understand the three key principles and rise up to the calling to be spiritual mothers!

2.3 The Principle of God’s Task

What is this task a spiritual mother is to do? It is to train the younger women! The Apostle Paul believed in spiritual mothering and thus instructed Titus to teach the older women to train the younger women! The reason behind it is so that no one will malign the word of God. Of course we do want to glorify God’s name, don’t we? Then all the more must we strive to accomplish this task that God has set for us!

3 The Definition of a Spiritual Mother

To be a spiritual mother is when you, a woman of faith, enter into a ‘nurturing’ relationship with another woman in order to encourage, exhort and equip her to live her life for God’s glory!

4 The Prerequisites of a Spiritual Mother

As we can see from Titus 2:3, a spiritual mother has 3 prerequisites: she is to be reverent in her everyday living, she is not to be a slanderer and she is not to be addicted – in this case to anything – not only wine. Why? It is because they are the backbone for instruction, granting them the ability to train a younger woman.

4.1 To be Reverent in Everyday Living

A reverent lifestyle is a God-fearing lifestyle that is overflowing with love. This love that overflows is the identifying mark of our Christian walk. Why? It is because the Bible acknowledges that love doesn’t come easily. John 13:34-35 says that Jesus “commanded” the disciples to love one another. Just by the nature of the word we can know sometimes it is really very hard to love others – but we are commanded to do so. The extent of our love is thus the identifying mark of our Christian walk, because others “will know that [we are Jesus’] disciples” as we choose to live out his commands. Because love doesn’t come easily, it has to be taught! It has to be trained up in a younger woman’s life! It is our responsibility to do exactly that.

4.2 Not to be a Slanderer

Many times we don’t slander others intentionally. It is almost never deliberate, but we are just not careful of what we say. If we have an issue with a person, we are not to spread to (or the more common phrase, share with) someone else. We are to go back to the brother or sister to resolve the issue bilaterally. We have to be careful of what we say to others about others – we might accidentally spread rumours because of what we unintentionally say. Therefore we must surrender our speech to the Lord; only then can we influence the younger women to build right relationships. What are the right relationships they are to build? They are found in Titus 2:4-5. The younger women are to love their husbands and children, be kind and be subject to their husbands. They need to be taught to affirm and encourage, to love and accept, to influence and not demand.

4.2.1 Love Their Husbands and Children

We are to teach the younger women to love their husbands and children in the following ways:
a) See the good qualities of their husbands on not focus on shortcomings.
b) Understand the differences between men and women and not to expect their husbands to meet all their needs. However their husbands must not take advantage of their wives and give excuses. Simply said, the couple must learn to live interdependent lives – they must need each other, but must be able to function without.
c) Recognise the selfish attitudes in their hearts as they are barriers to right relationships.
d) Train their children for righteousness, to relate to each other in love and acceptance.
e) Look for opportunities to affirm and encourage their children as it is better to influence than to demand.

4.2.2 Be Kind

We are to teach the younger women to be kind in and outside the home.

4.2.3 Be Subject to Their Husbands

It is taught in scripture too that wives are to submit to their husbands.

4.3 Not to be Addicted

To not be addicted is to have and exercise self-control, as overindulgence enslaves. Self-control works to shape our conduct, ultimately our lives. We must train the younger women to live disciplined lives of purity marked by self-control, purity and productivity. First, we ourselves must live such a life.

4.3.1 Self-Control

There must be no addiction towards anything. Common traps are television, compulsive shopping sprees, eating disorders (be it too little or too much), promiscuity and dependence on drugs.

4.3.2 Purity

We are to live our lives under the scrutiny of God’s word – so that no one will malign the word of God.

4.3.3 Productivity

We are called to be busy – and that applies not just at home but out of home. The emphasis is on being busy (productive) and not being at home. Titus 1:12 urges us not to become “lazy gluttons”. Even in Proverbs 31, in the description of the virtuous wife, productivity is placed in high regard – it is found in Proverbs 31:13-19, 22, 24, 27 – 10 out of 22 verses!

5 Our Call

If you are a Christian woman who is seeking to grow in faith and to live according to God’s teachings then you are qualified for spiritual motherhood. All you have to be is a woman with knowledge of sound doctrine on the road to spiritual maturity. You don’t have to be an expert in theology or be super saintly to qualify. All you have to be is a woman growing in knowledge of the Word who has the desire to apply it in every aspect of your life!

ARE YOU WILLING TO BE A SPIRITUAL M.O.M. (Mother Of Multitudes)?